Thought Provoking: 45 Things to Consider

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

My Personal Struggle 

with the Creative Being that I AM

I struggle, usually every day, to fulfill the desire to live a big life. One that is full of colour, fibre, paint, nature, sun, joy, water, dye, thrift store finds, goods made by others, spinning, knitting, drawing, gallery visits, travel, exploration, and really just everything.

My Creative Self struggles to work within the constraints of time, money, the need to eat, and the need to sleep. My creative self also struggles with doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, keeping up friendships, part time work, parenting and the desire to do anything but create.

My creative self is a part of who I am and I cannot deny it any more then I could decide not to breathe and remain alive.

Over the years I have struggled. I have been labeled; a cry baby, dramatic, demanding, eccentric, severe depressions, bi polar, border line personality disorder, anxiety, major depression, difficult, and most recently postpartum depression.

I do not deny that chemical imbalances within my body play a role in my struggles, but I reject the idea that I am ill. That I need to be or can be cured.

I understand the need to label. I know why my mental state of mind has become an illness, one that will be taken seriously by some and laughed off by others. Without this label our current social culture could not understand, categorize or otherwise make sense of my need to stay in bed one day and create all day the next. My quick and seemingly impulsive decisions, my over the top passion that borderlines on obsessive, my absolute love for the people in my life one minute and then my complete rejection of them the next just does not fit into the image society holds of a fully 'functioning' person. 

Without categorization as an illness and all the labels that come with it, my struggle, has no name. It is hard to take seriously within the current cultural framework. A framework that allows for vast amounts of independence within the constructed constraints of 'socially acceptable’. The current cultural paradigm does not allow for the fullness of the personality quirks that make us all so uniquely human.

Label me if you have to, if it makes it easier, but I am not ill. I am creative. I may take medication to balance my serotonin levels, or vitamins to keep me healthy. I may eliminate foods from my diet or need to set an alarm to make sure I go to bed at a certain time. I may do yoga, mediate, walk. I may use essential oils or herbal remedies. I may cancel on you unexpectedly or ask you to take my work shift only to be found posting pictures of my latest creative endeavor on social media. I may not ever live up to your expectations as a friend, a mother, a wife, or a community member. It does not matter, because I am me and I accept my whole self.

I am very lucky to have a family and friends who do too. To have met a man who even if he does not understand me completely gets that I need to create to breathe. These people do not ask me to sacrifice who I am to make them more comfortable, they make accommodations for me, just as I do for them.

So I will continue to struggle every day, sometimes less, and sometimes more. I will continue to fight to find the balance between being a creator, a spouse, a mother, an employee and a community member. I will not, however, sacrifice or deny who I am to do any of the above because, to be totally honest, I would not have it any other way.

Important Note: 

This post could be taken as a down play on mental health issues. It is not. As someone who has been hospitalized for severe depression I take mental health very seriously. I have just come to see it in a different light. If you are reading this and don't relate, that is understandable, this is a very personal take on very diverse subject. This article is not meant as a substitute for medical advice. If you are suicidal or are overwhelmed with your struggle, ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Asking for help is brave. I ask for help all the time.